October 2014
Crazy days! Who could deny that it was Danny Wilson's greatest moment ever at Oakwell? We were all living the impossible dream. That day was 26 April 1997 and Bradford City AFC were our opponents. The dimunative Clint Marcelle twisted his way past the Bantams defence to fire home the winner and secure promotion for the Reds to the Premier League for the first and only time in our history. A brand new era of local football folklore was born.

Sadly, the reality is that football fortunes have changed tremendously. A roller coaster of relegations, promotions, administration, cup adventures, TV finance and overhaul is not the exclusive collective experience of Barnsley FC supporters. Tomorrow's guests, trekking over from Valley Parade for the 'Live on Sky' fixture, will no doubt testify to that too.

Perhaps then, we're all looking for a fortunate stroke of serendipity to happen. A future where our substance and notoriety is assured. A different plan.

Then let me share my little secret with you.

I think I've spotted the opportunity.

It's been right in front of our eyes all along.

It's really simple.

It's all about the DOG!

You've seen the DOG. Countless others have too. Otherwise known as the 'score bug'. It's that 'digital on-screen graphic' you immediately reference whenever you see a live game being televised. It's your faithful friend arriving to the rescue, the reference point you immediately check in a bar on holiday / on a night out / while shopping, when your partner complains - "I thought we were getting away from the bloody telly!"

Okay, it may be true that you didn't know the game was on. Now, with your initial curiosity satisfield and rubber stamped by the DOG, you're fully aware that this fixture has gravitas. It's now time to embellish a backstory and come up with a reason why you simply can't miss the action. Do your job well enough and your other half might just relent and let you savour the whole thing!

We Are BAR

BAR is the key to attracting transient viewers and overseas Sky Sports onlookers. We may not be FC Barcelona, but why let that small detail get in the way of this football fantasist's blog post.

We witnessed the attempt in the spring by the Oakwell heirarchy to try and usher in a brand new mage for Barnsley FC. Perhaps they had the wrong strategy? Why reinvent the wheel when recognising the DOG brings guaranteed fame and fortune around the world? With a little dash smoke and mirrors, we would be a TV hit.

You only have to see that the art of the movie 'remix' works very well at the box office. Taking an established success story and remaking it for a new audience.

Incidentally, have you heard the rumour that our beloved 'Kes' is due a remake? With Daniel Craig in line to play 'the fair-haired, slightly balding Bobby Charlton' aka the overbearing sports teacher Mr. Sugden.

Anyway, back to the main fabrication ...

To succeed and convince the world our TV fayre is essential viewing, we've got to look the part. The first change has to be with next year's away strip. Get rid of the rainbow full of colours we've seen over the last twenty years, in with a close imitation of every future FC Barcelona strip and with it a new club crest to deceive even the most discerning worldwide soccer observer.

Voila, I submit my effort.

Then for your eagle-eyed aficionados you're going to need that star name in your squad too. But don't worry, I've sorted that out too. I strongly recommend that you check out the very latest edition of 'The Phone Book' that began landing through our letter boxes recently. There you will find exactly what you desire.

A box office name to send shirt sales in to the stratosphere (through a future 'club-owned' merchandising operation), a certain Lionel Messi, based on George Street in Cudworth could be just what we need. Despite an impressive goal ratio in his youth, Leo (67) suffers from frequent and delibitating episodes of gout, meaning he will rarely turn out for the Reds. But when has common sense stopped us in the past? Let's reach for the stars!

It's the perfect recipe for success and boy do we need a plateful of it soon.

Will the world be watching tomorrow? I seriously doubt it. Fantasies aside though, whilst a victory tomorrow will not herald a new era in our club's history, it could help us turn a corner in our fortunes at home this season. No tall tale or fantasy can equal real success. Let us know your score predictions or your views on the seaon so far. Get in touch with us on Twitter or Facebook, or leave your comments below. Thanks for reading!